Crush of the Week: Kylie Minogue…Ramble

Yesterday I attended a special Kylie Minogue event at SAKS (*yes the fabulous flagship on 5th Avenue, who doesn’t love saying flagship? Ah, 5th Avenue your many flagships always bring a smile to my face because of the glamour it immediately instills in my bones). Sometimes good things do come through and my wonderful friend Dorothy remembered that I’m a huge Kylie fan. 

I’ve been a fan since Kylie was on ‘Neighbor’s which is practially a requirement in order to claim your Australian heritage (as I do). I even watched her sister Dani on ‘Far & Away.’ (If you are not familiar think Dani is to Kylie as Ashlee is to Jessica Simpson- are you with me?!) 

A few years ago I was covering a Kylie in-store event at Virgin Megastore in Times Square for Rollingstone.com. I was in the press area for a few hours and then Kylie was going to do a signing. These two guys I had been chatting to rushed over to get a STACK of vinyl signed. They handed me their camera to take a photo with Kylie (we’re talking a huge professional grade camera). After I took their photo a notorious person from her then-label came over (the two guys were her very, very good friends) and told me and the rest of the press who were waiting in line that we could go to the back of the queue with all the other fans. 

My mouth was aghast, if that had been told to us upfront I probably would have left my photographer and gone to the back of the line hours beforehand- and I don’t mind doing that for Kylie, it was just that we’d all been there for almost as long as the fans already. Anyway, crushed I left and it was upsetting. Since then I have gone to see Kylie from her first performance in the US for Bravo at the defunct Limelight to twice at Hammerstein Ballroom. Her show is incredible and a definite must-see so I was beyond thrilled when I landed the VIP invite for the SAKS launch.

After Kylie arrived, the SAKS staff had ushered us against a wall and then towards the elevators to the VIP room. Kylie was up there after posing with the FASHION book downstairs for the photographers (hello a lot cuter than back in the day!). There was a makeshift line where different brands like Gilt Group folks were vying for Kylie’s attention. Then, I was asked to take a photo of her with a guy who I had been shoved up against downstairs. Shades of deja vu were coming through hard and fast as he finished telling her he’d thrown up three times that day in excitement of seeing her. (Fortunately he did not do that infront of us and also had copious amounts of mouthwash before attending the book signing.) 

Kylie seemed to be moving in the opposite direction of the makeshift line and my compatriots from well-known outlets were more interested in getting more Prosecco from the very handsome male model acting as a waiter than getting a photo with Kylie (because they have them from other events!) The three times my size bodyguard seemed to be growing larger with every moment as Kylie was then introduced to VIPS from Louboutin. Finally,I saw my now-or-never moment and stepped in as this other woman, I knew from downstairs was not a lifelong fan, tried to cut in as I was getting my photo moment. Sure enough Kylie’s lovely assistant made sure I got it. I can’t thank her enough!

There I was, with my Kylie under one arm, Prosecco in the other (because really it is Kylie and that requieres bubbles of some sort!) and Kylie threw up the “supercute” fingers (see below):

 

Here are a few more reasons I love Kylie:

1) She stands for GLAMOUR. Look at her working that Pucci dress. It had a lot of cut outs and wo-wo-wo-wow can she pull it off!

2) Kylie is a true pro at working a room. She was sweet, funny and had a great sense of humor while we were all trying to get her attention (aka mini-stalk!)

3) Do I even need to say how much I love her music? I did refrain from asking her what she was doing there when clearly “your disco needs you.” Oh, ha ha damn should’ve said that instead I made her an “honorary Asian” because she threw up the supercute sign. It’s because “I’m so tiny” – yes and we love our little pop stars! 

4) Did I mention when Kylie is around male models are also? 

5) For a lady in her mid-40’s she looks better than those half her age because she knows how to smile, wow and exude joie de vivre! 

This event reminded me of why I wanted to work in entertainment- Glamour, L’amour, Fashion and beyond all FUN! Thank you Kylie I was so very lucky, lucky, lucky to meet you. 

Then Kylie’s Skirt Came Down…Ramble

Then Kylie’s Skirt Came Down…Ramble

If you read a lot of women’s fiction like I do you can’t be anything but inspired by Kylie Minogue’s new, sexy track “Skirt”. There’s one performer who always puts on a glamourous show. I am the type of person who will pay for a ticket and see Kylie on my own because I know it’s going to be a big dance party anyway. Glamour. Lasers. Scantily clad buff men and women and of course, Kylie herself. Take a listen to her new exciting track and try to stop your butt from wiggling. 

Mighty Aphrodite…Ramble

Celebrate

As a huge Kylie Minogue fan, I’m so excited Kylie released this dance gemstone so hot on the heels of ‘X.’ It took me a while to get into ‘X’ but once it led to her first US tour and I attended the show live, I felt myself saying ‘wo-wo-wo-wow’ a lot.

Now ‘Aphrodite’ is perfect as your summer soundtrack for lounging, dancing and getting your groove on. Although the release is July 6th, you can add it to your weekend celebrations courtesy of NPR.com.

Instant faves: single “For The Lovers”, “Everything Is Beautiful”

Dance…it’s all I want to do (too bad my broken toe prevents this but hey I can still hop around and couch dance.)

My Valentine’s Mixed Bag Playlist…Ramble

What would Valentine’s Day week be without a reflection on one’s love life? Several of mine include George Michael and pop music. Let’s have at it!

1. George Michael & Queen “Somebody To Love” pleads ‘Find Me Somebody to Love’ over and over in a musical outpouring of emotion.

2. Glass Tiger featuring fellow Canook, Bryan Adams “Don’t Forget Me When I’m Gone” seriously you do take my breath away with that badass 80’s styling:

3. Bryan Adams “Please Forgive Me” – yes Mr. Adams forgive you for rescheduling our interview about 16 times in 3 days. By the time he showed up I was only given 10 minutes which is the worst way to ever go through interviewing someone who’s sold 20 million albums…which you own…on vinyl.

He picked this background. My friends photoshopped wedding outfits on us.

4. Crowded House “Weather With You” every where you go you always take the weather with you …and hopefully that isn’t a maelstorm. Take a summery look at live in this one:

5. Dead or Alive “Brand New Lover” – seriously, we all like a bad boy/girl. Course, as I get older what I really need to do is find a brand new lover or at least one with a sense of humor and a steady paycheck. LOL!

6. Lady Gaga “Love Game” – tired of games? Gaga gets right to the point. And no, she doesn’t want to be friends. Sexy Cupid squeezed her ass and she is going to run with that.

7. Kylie Minogue “Red Blooded Woman” indeed I am. Meow! How can you have a pop love list without le petite Minogue?

8. Natasha Bedingfield “Single” I’m not waiting around for a man to save me but go ahead make a move…or don’t. Course, the blonde bombshell did get hitched last year “I’m not saying I wouldn’t want to fall in love..”

9. Madonna “Cherish” even though Warner’s doesn’t let a girl embed, just hearing the title of this song makes me smile thinking of Madge asking cupid to take his aim at her.

10. Beyonce “Single Ladies” put your hands up

11. Justin Timberlake “Lovestoned” one of my favorite lovesongs. I know, “she’s freaky and she knows it” is the first line but I love to dance to JT & this one is so much fun. The breakdown is sweet. And did I mention I got to premiere this video on Yahoo! JT even recorded a special intro for us. Thanks JT!

12. Coldplay “Lost” hey these are trying times and I can’t get through them without Coldplay.

13.  Arctic Monkeys “Mardy Bum” who hasn’t been there? Why can’t love be easy? Getting into fights over the dumbest crap. Ah no one captures the stupidity of young love like Arctic Monkeys:

14. Snow Patrol “Just Say Yes” to the amazing feeling of wonderment when you hear this one, embrace someone with open arms.

15. Speaking of Snow… Elton John “Nikita” – is it cold where you are? Yes my dear Elton it is. Of course, I also love the fact that George Michael sings background vocals on this one.

15. The Beatles “All You Need is Love” (and water, and a shovel at the moment, still this is just one of the best songs ever and made the movie ‘Love Actually’ so special.)

16. Bjork “It’s Oh So Quiet” hits like a thunderbolt of love. The interesting use of this song on ‘Flash Forward’ plunged the world into chaos in just four minutes. Zing boom indeed!

17. Tori Amos “A Sorta Fairytale” live and beautiful as always the Ginger Goddess delivers.

18. Janet Jackson “Love Will Never Do Without You” and really, I mean that, Eric Bana I do.

19. Ricky Martin & Christina Aguilera “Nobody Wants To Be Lonely” or do without crazy lip liner & hair extentions. How could it take me this long to add a duet?

20. Gwyneth Paltrow & Huey Lewis “Crusin'” — it went to No.1 in Australia. Woot.

21. Vanessa Amorosi “Absolutely Everybody” in the whole wide world needs love, that includes you kid!

22. INXS “Never Tear Us Apart” oh Michael you are beyond us now, but remain just as sexy as ever in this lovely live version.

23. Howard Jones “I’d Like To Get To Know You Well” and who wouldn’t that line work on?

Kylie Vs. Madonna

Kylie Minogue’s recent US Tour brought out long time competitor Madonna and her daughter Lourdes, aka LOLA (hey JLo you really thought you could claim the name Lola? I don’t think you’ve met Lourdes, she’ll cut a bitch.) Is it an epic battle of Blonde Ambition between Madge & Kylie on a global level? They each have a dizzying list of global awards, magazine covers, books, and huge gay followings. Let’s see how they stack up.

COUGAR POWER: Both ladies are hitting the Latin Flavored Model Pool:

Madge: Jesus Luz is 22, South American model trying to be a DJ.

Kylie: Andres is 31, Spanish been quoted as wanting to have babies

Cougar Winner: Madonna

Personal fave: Andres. MEOW!

SURVIVAL TACTICS: MADGE slept her way into the music scene to get the best beats, deals and opportunities. The First Lady of Reinvention counts Sean “Mr. Nice Guy” Penn and Guy “Homophobe According to her brother Christopher’s Tell-All” Ritchie as her two divorces and playthings include Vanilla Ice, JFK Jr. (RIP!), Warren Beaty, Sandra Bernhard and Dennis Rodman.

KYLIE survived CANCER! Her ex, Michael Hutchence, a powerful influence on taking her from dime a dozen soap star turned poptart, into a diva. He left her for Helena Christiansen (keep the Aussies away from her, she dated Heath Ledger who also met with a timely demise….egads, beauty has a price.) Her ex, Oliver Martinez is a French bad boy who stuck with her through cancer but ultimately was a huge cad aka Frenchman. Later baguette!

Winner: Both, it’s hard for a lady to be a pimp. Men can’t handle it when their women outshines them.

ACTING: Madonna please Girl Six? Evita? Swept Away (I can’t believe I watched this wretched garbage) but don’t forget she was, well herself in ‘Desparately Seeking Susan’ and she did a great job being….herself. Fortunately Madge has retired from acting.

Kylie started out in acting as a cheeky monkey on Neighbours. Her movie career has included being the Green Fairy in Moulin Rouge and she makes her Bollywood debut in “Blue”, some say the most expensive movie ever made. She knows her limits, she works her angles.

Winner: KYLIE

AGING GRACEFULLY: Someone, somewhere said that Blondes don’t age gracefully. How about pop divas? Both of these ladies have amazing, tight, fit bodies that are too be envied. They won’t be joining Tori Spelling showing off (almost non existent) arm fat as both have very defined muscles there.

Kylie has lived on the Euro continent and glammed up being a muse for Dolce & Gabbana, living a very glamourous life, decked in haute coutre. As a result of her battle with cancer she lost all her hair and her dresses grew longer. Since beating cancer, she’s been dabbling with botox to fight the age battle.

All of a sudden Madonna starting wearing Burberry trying to look like a lady but then continueing to flash us her crotch. Madonna strattled TVS in her “American Life” video, Britney in Brit Brit’s “Me Against The Music” video and now just thrusts it against a white backdrop in “Celebration.”

Winner: Kylie

SIBLINGS: Since Madge comes from a larger family, there is only a stack up of the most famous of her siblings.

Madonna: Brother Christopher wrote a scathing tell all. After being along for the ride and earning money and design opportunites through Madonna, she cut him off when he failed to deliver. Their relationship fully splintered when Guy Ritchie, a homophobe according to Christopher, entered the picture.

Kylie: Sister Dannii followed in her footsteps in both the acting realm (first she competed in Talent Time, the Aussie version of Star Search, then the Aussie Soap Home And Away) and being a disco diva. They have a healthy supportive relationship and are now partnering on Britain’s X-Factor.

Winner: Kylie

Successor: This is a tough one, does one look to the present when Lady Gaga is crashing the party or think long term here? Long term Madge is grooming Lourdes to inherit her kingdom, while Kylie has no heir apparents.

Winner: Madonna

ROBBIE WILLIAMS FACTOR: Robbie Williams and Kylie had a massive global smash for their duet “Kids.” Robbie also penned two songs for Light Years. However, on Robbie’s Rudebox album he not only released a song about Madonna called “She’s Madonna,” he mentioned her as Mrs. Ritchie in a second song. Who wins here? Robbie.

Lightening Round:
Dance moves: Madonna (she’s a trained dancer y’all)
Controvery: Madonna
Sexual Adventures: Madonna but personally I’d rather have Kylie’s history (less STDS)
Accents: Kylie, her Aussie accent has never turned into a forced faux Brit one
Famous Friends: Madonna – sorry Kylie she is BFF with Gwyneth!
Fashion: Kylie
Global Hits: Madonna
Fun: Kylie, Madonna is more likely to demean you
Good Girl Gone Bad Award: Kylie, Madonna was always badass

Finally Tally: Madonna 8 Kylie 7

Madonna wins by a nose.

Kylie…Ramble

My name is Kylie

Your disco needs you and so does Kylie Minogue. The cancer surviving pop diva drew big dance parties in her first, nine date sold-out North American tour  finishing last night at Hammerstein Ballroom. Whomever sold Kylie a bill of goods in the 80’s telling her she would never break the American market shame on you. Kylie, Honey, you went dance disco diva on us in a consistent, unchallenged way, so keeping yourself to OZ and Europe was our loss. We love you in the USA!

My favorite Kylie album Light Years helped her recapture the attention of American Gays who said “la la la, gimme, gimme, gimme that la la la song.” I polled my gay friends, that’s a direct quote, I swear. There were rumors Fever would be a combination of Light Years and Fever but fortunately we got two amazing Kylie works instead.

I was first exposed to Kylie when she was still a good Neighbour on a trip to Australia in the early 80’s to see family. It was a summer introducing me to music I would love for the rest of my life including INXS (thank you Michael Hutchence for sexucating Ms. Minogue I think you had a lasting effect on her sauciness!)

Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours need to get know each other…. It was the call to embrace the pop culture of my Aussie heritage. I felt so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky.

Most Americans stopped at Lucky, as I once said to her one of former boyfriends, Mark Gerber, when we worked on an ad in Sydney together, “The US has Madonna (who checked out Kylie’s show on Sunday.) He was shocked I was so cheeky but seriously, in the early 90’s she wasn’t tackling the US. The first sign I saw last night at the head of the queue to get in, was written in bright pink ‘LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY.’

I did get to see Kylie perform in America at the now defunct, Limelight, for the release party of the soundtrack to Queer Eye For The Straight Guy which was a very short six songs. The orange glow sticks were pretty interesting and …..they made it out again last night during ‘Slow.’

Read my body language...

You can imagine the thrill when I got hired as an indie digital marketing maverick to work Kylie’s Body Language. I was beyond happy when they gave me a pair of the Agent Provocateur undies as a thank you for a job well done.

I just love my pint sized pop stars who fit in my back pocket!

Just after 8:20, the crowd was beyond ready.
We went down the checklist:
Glitter or Shine… check!
Champagne…check!
Gays…everywhere…check!
DJ…check!
Then we heard it…..10, 9, 8, hello Light Years! Look to the skys, it’s a popstar!

Light Years, 10, 9, 8....

Kylie entered the show on the head of a skull a la Alexander McQueen singing Light Years promising to be our guide for the night. She was adorable, charming, and shaking it. She even performed a sultry version of ‘Locomotion’ and a stripped down piano version of ‘Lucky, Lucky, Lucky’ all showing she never lost sight of where she came from – a lesson to young popstars, I mean you Mandy Moore! (Aside to Mandy: The songs from the past made you who are today and you should learn how to make them your own like Kylie and Christina Aguilera do, instead of saying they are crap.)

I spoke to fans from Tokyo, Sydney, London and New York all wondering before the show wasn’t in a bigger venue like Radio City or even the small theater at Madison Square Garden across the street. We know you put on a show, we have the DVDS! The screens, the costumes, the sets were all brilliantly proportional transporting us to another dimension of Kylie’s magic S&M disco.

Boys will be boys

I was already a fan of ‘X’ especially Speakerphone :

but last night really brought to life Wow, I’m The One (Tonedeaf Tony’s favorite song, he went nuts behind me), In My Arms and Like A Drug. She was a magnificent host with nods to Madonna reciting the intro to “Vogue” as well as performing her duet with Robbie Williams “Kids” with one of her backup singers.

Here’s a bit of WOW for you then:

Thank you Kylie for letting us come into your world.

Kylie Dance Party

For those who didn’t get a chance to see her, her sister Dannii told the London Daily Mirror Kylie has been offered an artist residency in Las Vegas! Kylie also makes her Bollywood film debut this week in “Blue” catch a glimpse now:

Robbie’s Body (of work) is worth the Ramble

The last couple of years have seen the workplace get more sterile. I had a meeting with a management company where the interviewer gave me a disclaimer because they make jokes after knowing each other over ten years plus that some people might, well sue for harassment. They mean it in a rock n roll way. I told him I was fine with that but still, the boys’ club prevailed.

What has happened to fun? In my last office gig I implemented the five o’clock whistle on Friday. It basically consisted of me and one other guy, sometimes 2 dancing to the latest hits within the label family. Unfortunately the rest of the department would just stare at us and giggle when a lamp became involved, but never participate. Oh no! Someone MOVES to MUSIC! Call the po’ po’!

It makes me entirely joyful that the larger-than-life Robbie Williams is back making music! While his last album ‘Rudebox‘ wasn’t a commercial success in his native UK, I absolutely loved that album especially “Summertime” which I used to blast in my Chili Red MINI Convertible on the way to work. Bye summer! Sadly, I couldn’t pray to you this year with a chandy! The hidden track part in particular on that track applies to the insanely aggressive and wretched driving I’ve seen this summer on the freeways. I believe it’s official name is ‘Dickhead.’

With the exception of ‘Escapology’, Robbie has never failed to deliver crafty fun albums full of ‘oh no he didn’t’ lyrics. And the answer is always ….oh yes, he did. One of my favorite Robbie moments was playing the video for “Rock DJ” for my younger sister. I had a VHS of it. I slowly backed away. She totally freaked out at the end. In case you’ve forgotten that brilliance, take a gander now:

When Robbie teamed up with Kylie Minogue it was like a match made in pop heaven! Not only was ‘Kids’ a big hit, but he wrote ‘Loveboat’ on my favorite Kylie album “Light Years,” which lead to a Kylie rediscovery by the powerful Gay US audience. Next thing you know, people are singing ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’ and this fall Kylie will finally have her first US tour. Ever. I can’t wait, but I digress.

For me, Robbie Williams embodies everything that is FUN about pop music. The lyrics are sassy and who else would send up Madonna so deliciously? “I Love you baby but face it she’s Madonna?” I loved this song, but then when I saw the video, it became pure unadulterated genius. Another Robbie video that wasn’t released in the US, but I got to watch through a shared back end content management system- before the advent of YouTube. He’s just not afraid to address his sexuality, his drug use, Robbie always goes there in the most divine musical ways.

The only time I saw Robbie onstage was at Mark Ronson’s show in LA. Robbie walked in and it was astounding. Sorry Mark but seriously, once Robbie took the stage it was his night. Meooow!

Now Robbie Williams is back with his new single “Bodies” with catchy lyrics ‘All we’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, or someone who could take it.” The video is average, but the song is great and he does look amazing once more. Take a look for yourself.

I cannot wait for Robbie’s album ‘Reality Killed The Video Star.’

I leave you with this reminder of how Robbie is the first one to take the piss out of himself, when he was performing live on this day three years ago and fell over. Thanks for making me always laugh and want to dance. It’s good to laugh. Long live Robbie!