Booty Display : J.lo vs. Nicki Minaj: The New Feminism?…Ramble

Beyonce is the poster child for feminism these days, despite whatever is going on behind closed doors. (Have we all been drawn in to the master plan of headlines that compelled ticket sales for her joint tour with her husband only to hear pregnancy rumors? Yes!)

If Queen B (and she’s not the first to claim that title), is the face of feminism and she sings about riding on Hova’s surfboard, her ass gyrating for all to see, is that any different than the outright tribute to her own ass, J.lo has released?

For years people have been commenting on Jenny from the Block’s rear assets. When I met her I was shocked at how tiny that rear is, but it’s all relative once you zoom in on something. Is that the new definition of feminism? Everyone’s talking about your ass so own it? Well this is a spectacular way of doing it:

If people are unable to get out of bed today because they are waxing their own surfboards with the release of this video, what is the difference between this and the tongue-in-cheek hit “Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj?

Well, for one thing, the taste-level. Jlo may be chewing gum and smoking cigarettes, but she’s doing it in a closed studio, ‘artistically’ and it’s just her ass and Iggy (Nicki’s rival), celebrating how their milkshakes bring the boys to the yard. Hmm, counterpoint so is Nicki, but in a much more over-the-top crass way with coconut milk dripping and mentioning how her pussy tires out her man so much he calls her NyQuil.

The dictionary defines feminism:


1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2.(sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3. feminine character.
Both J.Lo and Nicki are taking their own rights as women to exploit their assets to earn the big dollars men are not providing for them. Nicki’s lyrics advocate getting men to buy her things and are generally crude.  Is it about packaging? ‘Anaconda’ has been viewed on YouTube over 177 million times. Men are not thinking about feminism, they are jerking off to it and every time they do, I can hear the cha-ching building up in Nicki’s VEVO account.
Both women smack other women’s asses in their videos, both shake, twerk and leave on a bikini-string to keep them from being ‘fully’ exposed. If we look at Miley’s video for ‘Wrecking Ball’ which, IMHO, is her version of Christina Aguilera’s ‘Beautiful’, that is, until she starts licking steel. Despite protests about Miley not having to ruin the artistry of that moment, fans have watched that video over 700 million times and is on track to hit a billion.
At the end of the day, women are still the first ones to get laid off and get paid 60 cents on the dollar if we are lucky. Has feminism morphed into a marketing idea or are these popstars really in control? I’d certainly like to believe it, because even though Jessie J sang ‘it ain’t about the money’, those are lyrics and we live in reality where bills have to get paid and most of us are not turning down sponsorship deals, we’re sponsoring ourselves! Shake those asses ladies, I’ll take the t-bills that are dropping out of them.

Crush of the Week: Tom Cruise…Ramble

Yep, apparently now the man I should’ve gone all gaga over in junior high actually appeals to me. Mr. Cruise I can’t help but j’adore you this week for smartly reprising your role as Les Grossman producer of the MTV Movie Awards and dancing with Jenny From Da Block. Ok that Block is actually a private island her hubbie owns but hey, I’m not knocking that. It was off the chains funny to see Tom Cruise getting down.

It was enough to make everyone side-step that crazytime on Oprah’s couch and just let go of all the insanity of you as part of TomCat. Hey everyone, Mr. Cruise is a pretty great actor! Watch the clip and deny that you want Tom Cruise back in your life! You know ‘Knight and Day’ looks amazing! I can’t wait to see it on June 25th aka George Michael’s birthday and the first anniversary of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson’s passing.

Alter-Egos A Sign Of Being Loco?… Ramble

Fresh Out The Oven might be a straight shot back to putting the first lady of the Bronx back on the charts after several lukewarm efforts. Jlo hasn’t been Jenny Lo for a while but suddenly she’s has decided to get all P.Diddy on us and change it up again now going by Lola. Watch out for Madonna’s mini-me, she may not like this. No need to fear real Lola, these alter-egos don’t last that long. Jenny to Jlo to J to tha L-O, Bennifer- now LOLA has to create this alter-ego so she can talk dirty and people forget she has two babies at Casa Lopez.

The track features hitmaker Pitbull. It could have been straight lifted from the J-to-the-Lo:The Remixes. It also made me instantly think of R. Kelly “Ignition Remix“- hot and fresh out the kitchen. Aw yeah. Gimme that toot toot, gimme that beep beep. R. Kelly should definitely invest in an alter-ego, which brings this ramble back to the main point.

Is an alter-ego a sign folks have gone off-the-scales whacko?
1. Mariah Carey– MIMI girlfriend wound up checking into the funny farm
2. Eminem- Marshall Mathers- Eminem– debateable but perhaps he can get the creative ego to pick better videos instead of rehashing the same tired concepts poking fun at people. Mocking Sara Palin six months after an election is weak Em.
3. Sasha Fierce–Beyonce’s excuse to get all S&M on us. Diva needs someone to blame. If it didn’t come with hot songs like ‘Single Ladies’ & ‘Radio’ it would have spawned even more jokes.
4. Garth Brookes-Chris Gaines— check. Just when there was no bigger country star on earth, Garth traded in his name for Chris Gaines and nearly lost it all.

Taking it to another level, Hotlanta photog, Derek Blanks has made a lot of cash on creating alter-egos for celebs so they can unleash different sides of their personalities. (For normal people this is what is called schizophrenia!) The Real Housewives of Altanta even spent two entire episodes around the creation of this cash cow and even P.Diddy’s baby mama, Kim Porter being one of the first ‘celebs’ to get in on the action in April ’08. She learned about alter-egos from Sean “Puffy” – Diddy, P. Diddy –rotating names needs to stop. There should be a limit. P.Diddy just has a huge ego, that’s why he wants so many names but he isn’t crazy.

At the end of the day, alter-egos are an interesting concept for actors and actresses, one that singers should maybe leave to those who can handle slipping in and out of those roles. Fortunately Jennifer Lopez started as an actress. I really missed you Jlo so if Lola is the only way to get you back, straight sugar loving!

Which Alter-Ego of Jennifer Lopez is your favorite?