Brand of the Week: goop *by Gwyneth Paltrow…Ramble

The inaugural Monday issue of goop came out this week, covering all that is fun and worth notice from New York Fashion Week. Guest Editor, Fashion muse and trendsetter Taylor Tomasi Hill (isn’t that name just MADE for fashion?) finally reveals who maintains her red locks (the prices are not that outrageous), where and what to eat (juice, juice, juice baby!).

It’s typical for Gwyneth’s goop to make headlines on a weekly basis. It makes me laugh that there is such hate for someone who seems pretty funny, cultured and cool to me, but others see GP as a snob, elitist and out of touch with reality. GOOP was a genius idea. Gwyneth became more than an Oscar winner with a rock star husband, two kids and oh yeah a number one single in Australia for her duet with Huey Lewis:

Personally I love my weekly dose of all that is GP. Why? Her posts about healthy eating, juicing, detoxing and exercise tips from Tracy Anderson have helped me lose thirty pounds and keep it off for over two years. I shared that little tidbit with GP when I went to a book signing for It’s All Good and she was so delighted to hear it. My friend Brian asked me “How did you get her to smile like that?!” and he got back in line so he could do the same. Now, haters will have you believe it will cost an arm and a leg to make any of the recipes in there, but I believe they were shopping at Whole Foods for all the ingredients. Hey New York Times, we’re not all living in denial.

In fact, I have a new friend who was afraid to tell me she has been using It’s All Good recipes because she is on one of those programs where you have to cut out everything – gluten, sugar, alcohol, nuts, etc., in order to find out what she is allergic to, under her doctor’s care. My friend was so relieved I believe in all things goop as well. How sad she had to assume she would be dismissed for liking Gwyneth? Being able to make recipes that fit into her restrictions has been made 1000 times easier by Ms. Paltrow so again I applaud you GP.

Now, those who are still not sure, goop has plenty of recipes on the website. What? Free recipes? The website access remains free. As to the exclusive items made for goop with designers, some of the higher priced items are totally not in my price range, but there are more than fifty items under $150 dollars and I use them as inspiration, and find an alternate like this gold horned pendant. I got into a disagreement with my former literary manager over goop’s items for kids, none of which are over $85 dollars. He wanted to assume, like so many others, there was nothing of value there. Buddy, you are not a woman, you haven’t even looked at the website so if you only get your news via tabloid headlines, you come off looking silly to me. Huge applause to goop for providing an insider look at glamor and nutrition. goop keeps me informed. Note to goop: please make some goop branded items! And for the rest of you please enjoy GP on the Grammys:

Brand of the Week: Warby Parker…Ramble

Brands are a part of our lives. I enjoy exploring new brands, which pop up almost on an hourly basis, so I decided to take that inspiration and start this feature.

A few weeks ago I was watching a friend’s foster (now officially adopted!) dog while she was out of town. I had a late night and put my glasses on the coffee table. No sooner had I closed my eyes for a moment, when I heard the crunch. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was five. I knew that crunch was the lens of my all-time favorite glasses (Phillip Lim!) being destroyed.

I used to sell glasses in high school. I know when they are bound for the trash, but against all odds, I took them to my optometrist. I even passed Usher on the way and he smiled at my beloved Elle. I took that as a good sign. Alas, not even the radiant glow of Usher’s smile, could work magic on saving my glasses. Thus, a search began for a new pair of glasses. My prescription was outdated as is my health insurance. (Yes, I hear you all scolding me. Hire me, if you care so much cheeky monkeys!)

I went to the Brooklyn Flea Market. There were some great frames there, but alas, no eye doctor. Lenscrafters wanted more cash than my pricey optometrist for an exam. I was exploring all different options. Then I received the weekly newsletter from GOOP with a very good reminder — Warby Parker! I made an appointment. They do have walk-ins, but you may have to wait a while.

Some cool facts about Warby Parker:
1) The company was started by friends who asked the question: why do glasses cost so much? 2) WP will send you FIVE pairs of frames to try on and you have five days to pop them back in the mail – with or without your prescription.
3) There is a photobooth in the store so you can show off your new specs online. Sharing is caring! It also helps if you are by yourself and want to see how they look on your face or get other opinions.
4) Exams are only $50 bucks. They do not test for contact lenses.
5) For every pair of glasses sold, Warby Parker donates a pair to someone in need!

6) You can have the glasses sent directly to your home (of course, I knew I would need adjustments so I had them sent to the store).

There are some limitations, but keeping the above cool facts in mind, you can easily overlook them:
1) You cannot order tints, but if you have a thick prescription you can still get the ultra thin lenses (as I did).
2) While there is a good selection of cool looking frames, there is a limit. Not every style is going to fit you. The salespeople are there to help!
3) It will take 7-10 days to get your order onto your face. You are a style maverick and glasses are something you wear every day, so what’s the rush?

I went to the store and I’m glad I did. Who doesn’t love a flagship? I had looked at frames obsessively online and thought I knew exactly what would work for me. I even took a bunch of selfies since I am blind without my contact lenses (which I didn’t want to wear to the eye doctor). I have lost a significant amount of weight since the last time I purchased glasses and my face has changed. All the frames I am normally drawn too, were far too large for my face. Luckily, Warby Parker has a really helpful staff.

Dressed in a newsboy cap, suspenders and sweet kicks, the salesman who assisted me at 121 Greene Street, was able to combine my personal taste (bold!) with a frame that would best hold my (horrible) prescription. It was a pair I never would have selected, but in the end I could not be happier. It was thinner than I was used to, however there are a pops of blue I just adore. When I picked them up the other day, I exclaimed with relief “they look good!” as I took another selfie in the store. The customer next to me agreed. Meow, say hello to my new glasses.
warbyparker

 

I even wore them out of the store to dinner at the fabulous Hudson Clearwater and caught the eye of a tall drink of trouble (who was on a date with someone else!) Sorry honey, but guys do make passes at girls wearing Warby Parker glasses!

Thanks to the Warby Parker team for a great experience.

 

 

In Defense of Gwyneth Paltrow & Her GOOP…Ramble

“Fuck the haters!” Gwyneth Paltrow said in the March issue of British Elle. “I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and for a second your ego is so wounded … How could people hate me, my intentions or what I’m trying to do? I’m a good person and I’m trying to put good things into the world.”

Hey Gwynnie, that’s not exactly the motto of your lifestyle website, GOOP, “nourish the inner spirit.” Yet, I can’t help think that it is. Tell those haters to shove it because honey, you have an Oscar. Why are all these people hating on Gwyneth? Yes, she says high brow pretentious things all the time, but I take pure joy in hearing them. People often wonder is she in on the joke?  I think she is the mastermind of the joke. Perhaps, like one of my boyfriends you feel you need a dictionary to understand her.  We’re too damn sensitive all the time and she calls us, America out on it. Gwyneth has an opinion and she’s not afraid to speak her mind.

I get asked ad nauseum why exactly I like her. According to my sister, I’m the only one she knows who likes Gwyneth. She’s wrong, Dr. Mom likes her too! As I do seem to always like the esoteric aka ‘difficult’ ones, I’ll give you insights into why I get a kick out of Gwyneth.

Gwyneth had a number one hit for singing ‘Cruisin’ with Huey Lewis. Yes, it was in Australia, who also are the only country to release The Hoff ‘Get Into My Car’…..but also the home of INXS, Jimmy Barnes (his daughter Eliza is the muse of Liam Finn), John Farnham, and of course, hello the one and only Eric Bana. Eric deserves his own ramble so I’ll move on now.

Which she and hubbie, Chris Martin sang at a friend’s wedding. She sounds vocally better than CMartin on this one (vocal imperfections make me, yeah love Coldplay!)

She’s married to the aforementioned Chris Martin, another person people seem to think is far too serious. Ricky Gervais’ interview with Chris sheds some light on that one:

and her man beats up the paparazzi for her when she’s been in hospital for fasting too much:

Oh, you thought I was going to say he also wrote a number one hit “Fix You” that is now a Coldplay classic? Well, yeah that too. He proves in this bit, that he rushes home for Gwyneth’s cooking.

Which takes us to Gwyneth’s cooking videos on GOOP. Who doesn’t need to know how to properly debone a chicken?

Not only did I find that video useful and I want to make some yummy chicken, I dearly love to laugh just like Elizabeth Bennett in ‘Pride & Prejudice.’ GP’s first cooking video took a lot of heat and even sparked this hilarious send up on Funnyordie.com

and Little Britain

If you can inspire in song and laughter how bad can you be?

Still not convinced? She let’s her kids listen to Uncle Jay-Z “99 Problems.” No? How about GP went on Conan with actual GOOP all over her fabulous legs? Thanks Gwynnie for posting exercise videos from your personal trainer so we can all try to get our legs looking that fabulous.

Gwynnie is just an Oscar winner trying to give back. She was charming in ‘Emma’ and renewed my love for that book. I thought Miramax should’ve campaigned for Joseph Fiennes’ eyes to win for ‘Shakespeare in Love’ but GP made it up to him by getting him cast in ‘Running With Scissors.’ GP is good to her friends, who mostly happen to be famous. How could they not? She grew up with a father who was a director and Blythe Danner for a mother? Even her brother, Jake is now a director.

 (Photo: Jenny Gage & Tom Betterton)

(Photo: Jenny Gage & Tom Betterton)

I adore Gwyneth because a) her line in ‘A Perfect Murder’ delivered with disdain: “That’s not happiness to see me.” Response:”Try surprise.” b) dig the reading reccomendations and advice through GOOP, which lead me to ‘Drink, Pray, F@ck’ which sends up the horrid whine, whinge, whine and repeat boo hoo I’m the victim book being made into a movie ‘Eat, Pray, Love.’ c) admire her for being able to wear those wonderful ankle breakers. She was the first one photographed in them and now I bet you have some version of that in your wardrobe as a must d) she gets to make babies with Chris Martin e) when she gets a mother-daughter photo, it’s taken by Annie Liebovitz

(Photo: Annie Liebovitz)

(Photo: Annie Liebovitz)

I’m also really glad that GP recently said she wasn’t going to start making kids films in lieu of accepting creative movie roles that speak to her. It’s annoying how parenthood has done that for some stars who used to be ‘edgy.’ People seriously want to bend the truth and take it out of context that she’s against kids’ films are seriously just haters. More press for Gwynnie, better movies for us! Go GP! (p.s. I picked that quote link since it links to an OLD! photo of Coldplay. Hahaha.)

Finally, I got a cheap thrill out of the fact I turned my friend Brian onto loving Gwyneth. He now goes around qualifying people with “she’s so not fabulous, she’s not being followed by GOOP on twitter.” In closing, it’s because GP is not Flawless, makes her appealing to me. I also have a few suggestions to give her for increasing GOOP’s traffic but it seems she’s already got Corporate America knocking on her door to partner with her so I’ll have to save that for the day when I either get to interview her or vice versa. GP let’s get together to do some cooking. I’ll introduce you to pre-marinated salmon from Trader Joe’s and help you deal with your reconstruction hassles in London. You can let me wear your accessories and do my Chris Martin dancing impression. It’s about perfect for a person who with one good ankle. Nourish that inner funnybone!

29 October update: Great quote from GP on the red carpet last night only proving my point Gwyneth is fabulousity personified with a great sense of humor.

“Oh we love movies at our house, and we get everything. Everything! Every children’s movie, every documentary, every drama, every indie, every porn–just kidding about the porn!” –Gwyneth Paltrow on her love of all film genres during the Valentino: The Last Emperor DVD launch party last night in New York. *from Fashion Week Daily