After last season, I was neither counting down or dreading a new season of Lena Dunham’s “GIRLS” on HBO. Two new episodes aired this past Sunday against the last hour of the highest rated viewership for The Golden Globes. Dunham attended for the second year in a row in an ill-fitting Zac Posen gown. Is he really her friend? Honey, we’re neighbors, please I’ll help you for free. How come your BFF Taylor Swift, who looked amazing, didn’t veto that gown, which put Lena’s famous boobs basically in her arm pits? Bizarre.
I digress. Spoiler alert. At the end of last season, Adam dropped what he was doing to run to Hannah, who was in distress and having a massive panic attack. In the season premiere, Adam and Hannah are ‘partners in love and life’, who encounter Adam’s ex-girlfriend, that really Pretty Girl he degraded sexually. She was with a friend and reluctant to cause a scene until Adam took Hannah’s hand and said he and Hannah were going to leave. Pretty Girl took one look at Hannah’s lumpy body in ill-fitting clothes “did you have to leave the house in a hurry today?” and let loose with her rage.
How could Pretty Girl lose to Hannah? The outrage of it all! Pretty Girl’s friend, Big Mouth, dropped the bomb that Adam, post declaring his love for Pretty Girl, abandoned her and their unborn child because Pretty Girl was pregnant with his son. BTW, Pretty Girl’s stomach was inverted, so it seemed a little suspicious. Also, in my real life, all of these ‘surprise, I’m pregnant’ announcements have been happening, leading to the old ‘let’s give it a go, even if I never wanted to stay/marry/engage with you long term in the first place.’ This seems to be the way modern dating is going. If you can’t get a guy to commit to you, just get knocked up. I’m not saying it doesn’t work out sometimes, but not in the couplings I’ve seen forced together for the sake of a child.
During a recent holiday party, a male friend of mine brought up the subject of surprise pregnancies, as in, they are bullshit unless someone has been told they medically can’t have kids for years and bam, they get pregnant. “All men know how not to get a woman pregnant.” Didn’t we all learn how to avoid pregnancy in health class at like age 12? He has a friend who is about to pop any day with a kid. Said friend got surprise! pregnant after two weeks of unprotected sex with some guy she met in a bar. So, the Big Mouth announcement about Pretty Girl being knocked up pissed me off. This is something GIRLS do to manipulate men into feeling as crap as they do for leaving. While I understand that need to strike out at someone who betrayed you, broke your heart and shattered your illusions about yourself and your own loveability, fictional pregnancies only make you look like crap. So readers out there, don’t do that to yourself now that you’ve seen watched via HBO or their YouTube (the first two episodes are available) channel.
The question I have is how delusional and manipulative does a woman, who is surprise! pregnant, have to be, to make a huge splash out of pretending that proposal/commitment was going to come any other way? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being committed and then a baby comes along, like Olivia Wilde. I do have an issue when it happens to a couple who was semi-serious, have never even discussed marriage, and are not in an exclusive relationship and they decide to ignore all of that. I’m all for whatever works for your relationship, but I think there are so many challenges even for a more traditional sequence of events. Hillary Duff, who just announced she and her hubbie of three years, who dated three years prior to marriage, are splitting. They have an infant son. She has been a devoted stay-at-home mother. They have more money than anyone needs and it seems amicable (is that possible!?) And they still couldn’t make it, so what kind of chance does the surprise! I’m having your kid couple have?
In any case, back to the faux pregnancy claim. Though it pissed me off, that was the most exciting scene in both of the new episodes of GIRLS. In the second episode, Hannah complains the road trip she is on is boring, guess what? The audience is bored too. I’d rather read a book. So, much as I dig Lena Dunham, as a professional, I’m going to be cutting the chord (oh yes, that was totally intentional given this post), on GIRLS and leave it for younger, listless hipsters who live tweet their break-ups.