Tears of A Clown…Ramble

Yesterday I was enjoying a Brooklyn rooftop view, a glass of rose in hand and the company of two sons of San Francisco while Coldplay played in the background. The news came in that Robin Williams had passed away and, being San Franciscans, they were deeply saddened by this news, as have all my friends from SF.

Normally writing about heavy subjects is something I try to avoid on my blog. A few years ago I wrote a piece that was taken as controversial, turned around on me who was, in that case, the victim of manipulation, and lead to a parting of the ways of me and a¬†particular group of people. There was a protector who told me this person had sucked people’s friendships out of them like a hungry man chewing the last meat off of a steak bone, but they had bonded through this person’s ability to extract information and relay it.

I knew during that conversation my life was going to continue down a very dark path and my time in that group had a ticking time bomb attached to it. Now I work from home, I’m a freelancer and have slowly been in touch with members of that group. I realize I isolated myself without meaning to and had done nothing wrong. I created a new life outside of my former one, starting over after my father passed away a few years ago and surrounded myself with people who were positive, the ones who still reach out and like when I send them a card or a care package. This life leaves no one untouched. As a friend said on another rooftop, in a magnificent apartment with a spectacular view at the end of a fantastic party, no one has it all figured out, no one.

Robin Williams passing is not only proof that we all need a caring hand reaching out to us, but that life is a struggle no matter how much money you have, no matter how many people love you. Isolation of the mind is the worst isolation of all. Depression can hit people so if you know someone is having a hard time, maybe the event – being laid off, a person close to them died, they were diagnosed with an illness, someone broke their heart or they have money issues- didn’t happen in the past week or the past month, but reaching out, saying hello, showing you care about them and support them can change the course of a life.

I’m a social person. I like my alone time like any writer, but I also crave social interaction and make a point of seeing my friends. The past few days has been filled with laughter and friends I haven’t spent time with in a long while, from all different sections of my life and I’m so grateful for that. If you are the person that needs the hug, go get it. It’s close by.

Thank you Mr. Williams for inspiring us with laughter and with intensity. As much as I loved ‘Mork & Mindy’, ‘Aladdin’ and ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’, there was also ‘Dead Poets’ Society’ and ‘Good Will Hunting’ and your smile, your talents will be greatly missed. My heart goes out to his loved ones and anyone who is suffering with depression. Don’t isolate yourself in crowd, seek the good will, it’s there I promise.



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