Dirty Jers is A Hot Mess….Ramble


Last night was supposed to be the big ‘table flip’ equivalent which occurred on the finale of ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey.’ What we got instead seemed very staged and as Andy Cohen dubbed her the ‘Kathy Lee-Gifford look-a-like’ bystander said “This is f*cking bulls—!”

I went from rooting for Teresa with her over-the-top fashion and stage mommy antics, to thinking this woman is a “mean girl” but not on the Jill Zarin level being fake, she is authentic. Teresa commented on the after-show ‘Watch What Happens’ that she is nice to people who are nice to her and she’s a bitch to those that think she is a bitch. T- are you trying to live life in a Katy Perry song?

Here’s a synopsis of the big drama:

The “ladies” Teresa, Jacqueline and Kim D.  sat at a table directly across from Danielle & Kim G. during Kim D’s fashion show (which doesn’t do as much for Jersey fashion sense as Oxygen’s ‘Jersey Couture.’ Note Kim G. and Kim D. are more than just The Kims– they are in-laws). Puhleaaaaase as Danielle would say, like that wasn’t deliberate. Teresa decides that after all night exchanging glances, it is not enough for her and she is going to wait outside the bathroom for Danielle.

You don't like honey, how about bitch?

Teresa starts a conversation with Danielle who is not interested and wants to walk away with her bodyguard in tow, but Kim G. holds Danielle in place and says to try to make an effort. The conversation is brief and escalates into Danielle booking the hell out of the hall after screaming that Teresa’s house is in foreclosure. Honey (to borrow Teresa’s ‘thing), Teresa, hon, seriously what did you when you constantly call Danielle a ‘prostituion whore’?

From Bravotv.com

Danielle starts crying, running through the crowd. Thus far this season we’ve seen Danielle make idle threats and surround herself with Hell’s Angels and ex-cons. It is suspect that it was heavily implied Danielle put a hit out on Dina during last year’s reunion show, has all this muscle around her and then Teresa wants to mouth off at her and she immediately collapses. Sadly Danielle’s heels were a casuality in this situation. (Those were some hot boots too!)

Danielle ducked outside and for drama’s sake, Teresa was fired up and went after her unstoppable by the friends trying to hold on to her. One of the bouncers at the country club of the event tried to hold her back and said ‘be a classy lady.’ This is where T lost me. The explanation on ‘Watch What Happens Live’ did nothing to ‘splain it all. Teresa claimed she heard that Danielle had been spreading a lot of rumors like her house was in foreclosure and by Danielle screaming that, she confirmed it was her. Of course, Teresa if you wanted to address rumors and you couldn’t stop saying the word ‘bitch’ what was going to be accomplished?

Outside while T was held back, the camera shows Jacqueline. Suddenly Danielle starts to move again wailing she just wants to go home – hmm, Kim G’s driver needs to wake up from his nap time because he never did bring that car around to where they were, instead they all start walking to the Bentley. That gave Jacqueline’s undisciplined ridiculous brat Ashley a chance to yank a chunk of Danielle’s weave off her head.

The extension pull must’ve hurt like hell. Danielle went into further hysterics and called the police while wailing in the Bentley. For no reason Teresa is finally free of the country club staff and starts walking after Danielle. WTF? Then Jacqueline decides the whole thing is so high school as she walks quickly towards the Bentley.  She then proceeded to just stand outside the car watching Danielle not saying anything. According to Jacqueline on WWHL, it was edited out that Jacqueline was showing Danielle there was noone blocking her path. Hooooney that’s a little junior high action Jacqueline!

The cops show up, take statements, let Ashley go for the moment. Apparently Danielle has the cops on speed dial so they don’t really believe her. Ashley continues to be a brat and posts on Facebook the evening was ‘unbe-weavable.’

Jacqueline & Teresa spend the rest of the episode trying to dress up what went down to other family members, but since the other family members a) have lives b) have all made a pact not to discuss Danielle c) are so over this they are not supportive of the actions of Jacqueline & Teresa. Caroline even says that paying the consequences for her actions, might be the only way Ashley learns her lesson.

Jacqueline, remove your child from the cast. She wouldn’t have been at that fashion show if Kim D. who wants to be on the cast, had not asked her to be on the show or if Ashley had left when you asked her to go home.

Manzo-Momzo

Bravo you really should just give Caroline Manzo and her immediate family (wassup Albie!) their own spin-off show because the energy is better there. There are actual problems (learning disabilities) and people can root for them and they laugh! I’m going to have to get all Jerry Seinfeld again and say farewell NJ you have jumped the shark!

Wait, gotta do this Jersey style. I’ll borrow Danielle’s opening combative statement and say “That’s a F–kin’ nuff!” (edit per Evil Producer!) BTW, I’m so kidding you know I’ll never stop watching NJ!

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