Tay Tay Swift Needs This…Ramble

Today, like a lot of woman, I’m a bit bummed about Taylor’s quotes from her upcoming Vanity Fair cover story. Really, you’re mad at Tina Fey & Amy Poehler over their joke to stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son? C’mon Taylor. You had a pout on your face almost the whole night at The Golden Globes especially when Adele won for ‘Skyfall’, but is that reason to be down on the whole night and say there is a special place in hell for Tina?

I like you. I’ve met you professionally, gone to see you fifth row center in New Jersey (!). I dig your mini-movie audition for the music video “Trouble”. You are young, talented and you give back so much. Here’s the thing though, you do put and profit highly from your relationships with dudes, most of those have been high profile guys also in the public eye. So, don’t you think a comic is going to joke now and then? It wasn’t even that bad. And what’s with not commenting on your relationships but authorizing a close source to do so? What?! Is the source your diary?! Is it your mom?!

Taylor lighten up a little. You are amazing and generous on so many levels. Get yourself a copy of Tina Fey’s “Bossypants” and you will understand she has been fighting the good fight for women her whole life.

Seriously, if I were you I’d be more annoyed by this:

And maybe watch this again:

Call Me CRAZY!!!!!!….Ramble

I love a really good pop song so the first time I heard “Call Me Maybe” I loved the set up with the ripped jeans. It sort of reminded me of when I first heard Miley Cyrus’ “See You Again”. Love, love an addictive pop song. And, this has been everywhere so that it’s beaten you over the head, you hated it, then you loved it again because you just gave in the impossibility of not hearing this song everywhere you’ve been since May. 

It was with utter shock that my friend who works in TV and is one of the most tapped in pop culture junkies in my life told me he has NEVER heard “Call Me Maybe” even once. WHAT?!!!!!!!!!! So here’s my version of the lyrics for him:

Hey, I thought I knew you, 
You’re in show biz, 
You’ve never heard this song

That is Batshit-CRRRRRAAAAZY! 
So watch the video you’ll like it maybe! 

Girl Crush: Author Liza Palmer…Ramble

Liza is one of those people who’s writing creates new friends. Friends that fulfill the Girl Scout song “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.” I’ve been able to connect online with Liza and interview her for some outlets, including this blog. She just pretty much kicks ass. Funny, honest and bubbling over with talent, she even has a French bulldog named Poet. Could she be any cooler? 

My favorite book of Liza’s is Seeing Me Naked. It’s a powerful and intrigueing facing the hard stuff in life with your family and finally creating a life for yourself regardless of what everyone expects you to do. Her last book A Field Guide To Burying Your Parents completely book my heart. It was so powerfully emotional and really hit a raw part of my experience in life. Let’s not forget her first book Conversations With The Fat Girl which was both hilarious and amazing.

Palmer fans already excited for her latest book More Like Her out on April 17th, which I was lucky enough to get an advanced copy of to read. I’ve been discussing this issue of lifestyle over career ambitions and how that changes with age with a lot of my friends in the last couple of years. It’s like Liza was part of those conversations or at least her characters in “More Like Her” were. There are times when it’s hard for us to understand the end of a relationship, romanticize it and grieve for it while admiring someone else who seems to have “more” than us in one or several ways. 

“More Like Her” captures the feeling of being in your 30′s wondering why life still hasn’t resolved those career and relationship issues, but really addresses the need to actual realize you deserve someone who appreciates you as you are and the first person to fall in love with you should be you. This book is a little bit of a lighter emotional tugging than Liza’s first three books, but have no fear she will still take you over that edge and in that way I wish I was ….more like her.  

A Whole Bunch of Shit Girls Say…Ramble

It started off with ‘Shit Girls Say Part One’ quickly followed by Part Two. Immitators have put their own spin on this send up with varying results. You decide which is your favorite:

ORIGINAL PART ONE with a cameo from Juliette Lewis:


PART TWO: IS THAT HUMMUS????

PART THREE: Juliette Lewis really is the best


SHIT BLACK GIRLS SAY: I saw this on Basketball Wives


SHIT SINGLE GIRLS: I hate New Year’s Eve! (Personally I DO!!!!!)


SHIT WHITE GIRLS SAY TO BLACK GIRLS: Twinsies!


SHIT GIRLS SAY TO GAY MEN: I love that you’re practically a girl!


And, in case you are like, wait, why are they picking on girls so much? Here are a few for the fellas:
SHIT BLACK GUYS SAY: You going to believe me or some girl on Twitter?


SHIT SOUTHERN GAY MEN SAY: Bless her heart:

And The Sharks Got Smarter…Ramble

There’s nothing more awesome than a new take on ‘Jaws’!

Guilty Pleasures Anyone…Ramble

This shows the difference between women and men:

Record Collecting for Girls by Courtney E. Smith!

What Will Gwyneth’s Musical Vision Be…Ramble

Gwyneth Paltrow is finally letting the world see how funny she is and having a really great time. Ever since Gwynnie took on “Glee”, she’s been everywhere singing including the Grammys and New Jersey to stealing the stage from Beyonce in London recently. Is she the ultimate ‘renaissance’ woman or what? Seriously.

As if I weren’t amazed enough by this Golden Goddess, now she is posing in nothing more than fish net stockings and Harry Winston jewels (that’s quite a step up from bedazzling) for Vanity Fair jewelry special. Must. Stop. Eating. Still, my favorite thing Gwyneth has done recently which she has spoken about on a number of occasions, is rapping N.W.A. on Britain’s Graham Norton Show:

G.P. admitted she has yet to make her own music. Oh Darling, please come make a record where I work and that would be insane. It got me to thinking what would Gwyneth’s own album sound like because I don’t think the duets on Matthew Morrison’s lame duck album (remember when he kept promising us he was gonna make an album that sounded like J.Timberlake? WTF turkey!) of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” are really the direction she would go musically on a solo project. We’ve heard GP covered country, pop, adult contemporary, and of course her #1 duet (in Australia) with Huey Lewis “Cruisin’” and now rap. Hmm though I love her I don’t think so, I’d much rather her sing something that had a bit of Brazilian feel to it for some reason, you know a little “Girl from Ipanema” spiciness with maybe her “brother” Hova doing some lyrical assault to add some fresh flavors.

How about some guest stars?

Tay Swifty – they could battle it out as a country hip hop showdown

Beyonce and Gwyneth have a huge dance number they can boogie on down to?

Gwyneth and Chris Martin actually get filmed together for a stirring guitar duet?

Gwyneth and Leighton Meister film a video with a stalker theme…as in Leighton has a girl crush on her after ‘Country Strong’/a send up of her hit movie “The Roommate”, of course they’d have to out do The Lonely Island/Beiber send-up.

No matter what it turns out to be, I’m glad Gwyneth is talking about it and therefore it’s a possibility.

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Hotlanta Hot Mess Kim Takes Google’s Name in Vain…Ramble

This week ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ returned for Season 3, which just proved Season 2 all the RH series ‘jump the shark’ with their new-found ‘faux-fame’ to borrow the term from Jerry Seinfeld. Well, Season 3 they get back to the business of being themselves and the downward slide of the faux-fame into their real lives. Hallelujah!

The always entertaining, wine-drinking, whig-wearing hot mess, Kim Zolciak returns with a new single called “Google Me.” Clearly this follow-up to the brilliant “Tardy for the Party” was made without the help of her castmate, Kandi Burruss. While you may be looking at the time thinking this is only :57 seconds, trust me, that’s so your ears have a chance to recover from this unfiltered exposure to Kim’s vocal stylings.

Etiquette ala Acapella at Barnard…Ramble

A few weeks ago I discovered my puppy, Rocknroll_ELLE loves the sound of harmonizing. I started the video below, Elle turned her head, came over and got up on my knee so she could see the computer. This is an acapella group from Barnard and Columbia singing Dr. Dre’s “Bitches Ain’t Shit”. I think these ladies should work that alum connection with CU grads Vampire Weekend and do a MASH-UP. Ha.

Oh Christine Sweet 16…Ramble

I apologize for the slow feedback on this week’s “Real Housewives of New Jersey.” Elle got spayed on Monday so sorry Bravo, it was really the last thing on my mind that day.

On to disecting: I think the entire episode could have been more intriguing if it had just been focused entirely on Danielle Staub’s model-in-training Christine.

Danielle kept telling her youngest daughter Jillian who was singing at the party that this was a ‘really big deal.’ What? I didn’t see any decanters of scotch or bookshelves that smell of mahogany (That’s a Legend of Ron Burgundy reference…) but we did finally see the supposed ‘dead-beat dad’ in and his next wife. For all the crap she has said about this man, Danielle’s kids were over the moon to see him and Danielle kept profusely thanking him for coming declaring “This is a new beginning” in her confessional and then as usual conflicting her seemingly ‘love & light’ attitude with “I know Jillian better than he does.”

Danielle also declared herself the best mom in the world. Uh you told this 12 year old girl about 50 times that she would be singing infront of 350 so many times she was getting stomach (hello ulcer) pains.

Here’s my impression of Danielle and it’s no surprize Joan Crawford’s daughter was named Christina. Watch this clip and tell me you don’t agree:

In other Housewive action, Bravo ‘superexec’ Andy Cohen was discussing and roleplaying ‘The Real Housewives of New York’ epic reveal of Kelly “Batshit crazy” Bensimon’s behaviour for the first time in her meeting with Bethanny “I’ll do anything to be on camera even pee in my wedding dress for more airtime” Frankel. Watch what happens on Colbert’s site.

If you can’t get enough, there’s more laughter as these kids reenact Theresa’s table issues and Danielle’s need to be the center of attention on Babelgum.